We got six months and two days on the wagon as a good friend of Bill W.'s. Prosecutor wants to put us away for a dime, but the judge gives us rehab instead.

They find two pounds of Jamaican lambswool. We were driving around with a deployed airbag.

f*cking Middletown cop pulls us over for Suspicion of Mischief. Me and Silent Bob finally bought a car, we're cruising down to the Boardwalk. So, uh, I haven't seen you guys in a while, man. Shit, everything but coke, heroin and your cock. Our first customer since our triumphant return. Homeboy f*cked a Martian once.' Holy shit. Like, be the first f*ck to see a new galaxy or find a new alien life-form. в™Єв™Є Grandma said, 'Do come in, my little friend.' в™Єв™Є You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. в™Єв™Є Grandma, what was it like в™Єв™Є To be on that holiday site? в™Єв™Є I wish I had a lawnmower в™Єв™Є You've got it, you've got it в™Єв™Єв™Єв™Єв™Єв™Єв™Єв™Є I dream of cherry pies в™Єв™Є Candy bars and chocolate chip cookies в™Єв™Є You've got it, you've got it в™Єв™Є Don't leave me stranded here в™Єв™Є I can't get used to this lifestyle. в™Єв™Є I can't believe they haven't done anything with it yet.Дo you mean to tell me you don't miss that place at all? в™Єв™Є Hey в™Єв™Є Once there were parking lots в™Єв™Є Now it's a peaceful oasis в™Єв™Є You've got it, you've got it в™Єв™Є This was a Pizza Hut в™Єв™Є Now it's all covered with daisies в™Єв™Є You've got it, you've got it в™Єв™Є I miss the honky-tonks, Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens в™Єв™Є You've got it, you've got it в™Єв™Є And as things fell apart в™Єв™Є Nobody paid much attention в™Єв™Є You've got it, you've got it в™Єв™Є Years ago в™Єв™Є I was an angry young man. I'd rather let them know I'm not an assh*le. If I were you, I'd spray-paint 'eat p*ssy' across the side of the building in huge letters. You gonna do anything crazy before you leave New Jersey forever? When do you and your old lady head down to Florida? в™Єв™Є Here we stand в™Єв™Є Like an Adam and an Eve в™Єв™Є Waterfalls в™Єв™Є The Garden of Eden в™Єв™Є Two fools in love в™Єв™Є So beautiful. (Talking Heads' 'Nothing But Flowers' intro playing) Now where am I gonna bring chicks to f*ck when my mom's home? I left the coffee pot on again, didn't I?

Shut the fuck up gobot